No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
