Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
