i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
