Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
