Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
