I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just want to make out with him forever
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
