There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
