Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
