Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
