WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
