i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
