Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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