grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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