i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
