They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
