But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
