There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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