3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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