do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
