I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
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