Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
