they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
