I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
