Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
