Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The air was thick with penises
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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