You just made me feel so damn special
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
