PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
