life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
