My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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