i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
