I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
