i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
