are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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