on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
