i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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