I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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