I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
