I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
