i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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