Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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