why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
