remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
someone owes me an orgasm
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
