I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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