You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
