some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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