You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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