it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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