If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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