sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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