Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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